


Could You Be Seen With Me (And Still Act Proud)?

by Justanothersoul413



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, He's definitely dead, Heather Chandler uses sign language, I mean, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, It's cliche, Lots of references to the musical, Might upgrade to no squinting needed, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Ram/Kurt if you squint, Sign Language, Well except for JD, and suicide, but he's still definitely dead, especially for the title, future panic attacks, he'll appear as a "ghost" like HC Kurt and Ram did, idek what this is, implied/reference murder attempt, including the violent parts, so here's your warning, y'all made me do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanothersoul413/pseuds/Justanothersoul413
Summary: It’s been months since the chain of events that left Westerberg High shaken. Homecoming had come and gone, as had prom. Everyone was nicer. People were getting along. Nobody had died. Nobody wanted to.Things were so much better than they were before.So what was wrong with Veronica?Or: you can’t just act like the popular kids, believe you helped kill three people, learn of your best friend's suicide attempt, and watch your psycho boyfriend kill himself after a failed attempt to kill the rest of your school, and then expect to be okay, Veronica.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody is dead. I love them all too much to have them be so. That doesn’t mean they didn’t suffer, though, lol.  
> They’re now aged back a year because I have plans that requires a longer time frame than the few months of high school they would have left. That being said, some things referenced from the musical will be adjusted accordingly.
> 
> It’s also modern time lol. I tried and failed to write the 80’s and 90’s.
> 
> Credit to author presidenthomewrecker for the “Heather Chandler uses sign language” thing. I’m not sure if anyone else has done it because this is the only author I have read from that uses it. Depending on the context, I’ll have HC’s word underlined because it’s going to get repetitive if I have to keep writing “she signed”.
> 
> I’m sorry if characters are somewhat OOC. Near death experiences change people, but I’ll try to stick to canon.

September 1, 2017

Dear Diary,

I believe I’m a good person.

_No, I’m not._

You know, I think that there’s good in everyone.

_Not everyone._

But, here we are: first day of junior year! And I look around at these kids I’ve known all my life and I ask myself, “what happened?”

_Better question, what happened to **me**?_

We were so tiny, happy, and shiny… Playing tag and getting chased. Singing and clapping; laughing and napping; baking cookies, eating paste.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome.

Welcome to my school, this ain’t no high school, this is the Thunder Dome.

Hold your breath and count the days; we’re graduating soon. College will be paradise if I’m not dead by June.

But I know life can be beautiful.

_Can it really be?_

I pray for a better way.

_I didn’t mean it._

If we changed back then, we could change again.

_I DIDN’T MEAN IT._

We can be beautiful. Just not today.

 _Or maybe ever._  

* * *

 

“Veronica? Veronica?? VERONICA!”

Veronica jumped as she was startled out of her trance-like state, knocking her notebook off the table in the process. Upon looking up, she focused on Heather Duke since it was her voice she heard. Her face appeared to be battling between annoyance and worry before settling on trying to mix the two.

“You didn’t answer Heather’s question.” Veronica gave a sheepish and apologetic look. She could vaguely feel her cheeks and eyes burning slightly, but she would be damned if she said she was embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t hear it.”  
“Well, no duh! That’s because she signed it.” Okay, the heat in her cheeks just increased. _Now_ she was embarrassed.  
“Shit, sorry, I-I didn’t…”

Heather Chandler rolled her eyes but signed “it’s fine” with a small smile on her lips before signing her question once more. ”Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Veronica jumped again as she felt a hand brush across her cheek. She looked over to her right to see Martha retracting her hand while returning the fallen notebook.   
“You’ve been staring at this since you sat down,” Martha supplied, “and you started crying…” Oh, so that’s why her eyes were burning. When did she start crying? “So, again, are you okay?”  
“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” She wiped her cheeks before harshly rubbing her eyes to rid any leftover tears. “I mean, I’m tired, but I don’t know what that was about.” Martha hummed and Heather Chandler didn’t look too convinced, but nobody tried to challenge her response.

Heather McNamara took over the conversation from there. Veronica couldn’t be more grateful, as the shift in focus gave her a moment to collect herself and her thoughts.

Where was she? The noise and, more prominently, the smell told her the cafeteria. But when did she get here? Why couldn’t she remember? Last she knew, she was in math. She was starting to pack up when a notebook fell out of her backpack. It was the notebook that served as her old journ- oh. She would go back to _that_ later. Next question.

What time was it? At least that question didn’t make her feel… Things. It was also easier to answer, since there was a clock not too far away from her line of sight. 12:04, four minutes from the start of lunch. Good, not too much was missed.

“I have cheer practice tonight until 4, but after that are we all still on for movie night tonight at my place?” Heather McNamara looked around expectantly, seeming satisfied once she received nods from everyone, especially Veronica who took a second to catch back up after spacing out _again_. She needed to focus. “We can decide a movie when we’re there. I have plenty of movies, but I also have Netflix if we don’t want to watch any of those. Now we just have to wait for the boys to get here to make sure they’re not skipping out on- oh, there they are. Finally!”

Kurt and Ram plopped into their seats, setting their lunch trays not so gracefully onto the table. At least nothing spilled this time. At seeing the food, Veronica realised that she must have forgotten to grab her lunch from her locker and sat at the table straight away.

She wasn’t really hungry anyway.

“Man, this food they serve us is gross,” Kurt complained as he picked apart his cheeseburger. “I’m not even sure this is real cheese! Probably some glue from the eighties that turned yellow from being so old.”  
“You complain every day, but you have yet to bring a sack lunch like the Heathers.” Ram shoved some of his pizza in his mouth before continuing with his mouth full. “It’s gross, but it’s food.”  
“Sure, but how much of it is real? Is this burger actually that mystery meat stuff they show on TV shows?” Kurt started pulling apart the burger now, making a show of looking through the pieces, sniffing and licking as he did so.  
“If you don’t want it, I’ll eat it. I’m not going to turn down free food.” Kurt smacked Ram’s reaching hand away as he pulled his tray further away.  
“Nah, fuck you. I’m going to eat it so you can’t have it.”

It was still so surreal to Veronica to be a part of something that would have been laughed at not even a few months ago. Jocks, Queen Bees, and Outcasts sitting together at lunch was a dream that only came true in the movies. But here and now? It was reality.

It first started with the Heathers. After Heather Chandler’s “accident”, Veronica was sure she was going to be dragged to jail. After days came and went with no cops pounding on her front door or showing up for her at school, Kurt and Ram’s accident came. Just as she thought she might be in the clear, there was yet another event.

But no cops came. She didn’t go to jail. She wasn’t even taken in for questioning.

The worst came the day after the pep rally. Up until then, Veronica had sworn she would take everything to her grave. She hadn’t been locked up with the key thrown away, so surely she was in the clear. So long as she didn’t say a word, everything would be fine. Right?

Except that the chosen movie that Veronica and Martha had watched that night was called The Outsiders. Martha said that she grabbed the movie because it had been based off a book they had to read in junior high school. Instead of being a nice change, it only caused Veronica to start crying hysterically.

Veronica remembered the book well. She was a little warry to watch it, mainly due to the fact that she wasn't sure how she would react to some of the scenes. There was quite a bit of fighting that would get deadly. Add the fact that Dally looked similar enough to JD, and it was just a meltdown waiting to happen.

She explained the whole story in between sobs, unable to stop herself once she started. She recounted how she and JD had met, how it was an accident that Heather Chandler’s hangover cure had actually been drain cleaner, how JD had lied about the bullets that Kurt and Ram had been shot with, and finally about the plot to blow up the school with everyone inside during the pep rally.

Martha hadn’t said a word, instead letting Veronica get through everything. Even then, she didn’t pull away. She turned off the movie, switched to the first happy cartoon that she could find, and pulled Veronica nearer. They sat together for the rest of the night that way, Veronica sobbing every so often and Martha giving reassuring words.

Later Martha would insist that it wasn’t Veronica’s fault, but JD’s. Everything was his doing; she had only been pulled into it. Veronica wasn't faultless, but the attempted murders weren’t her guilt to bear. Martha forgave her.

Veronica would also tell the same story to Heather McNamara, who would insist on the same thing Martha had. She would also in turn relay the information to Heather Duke and Heather Chandler, as well as Kurt and Ram. Veronica couldn’t be more grateful for not having to recount the story three more times. Heather McNamara forgave her.

Heather Chandler couldn’t physically yell at her, the cleaner having damaged her throat enough to where she couldn’t talk, and she couldn’t go after JD, all things considered, so she just settled on menacing looks the first few times they were together. Surprisingly, soon the glares melted away after she had begrudgingly admitted that most of the fake suicide note wasn’t actually fake. “Except the donating part. I’m being buried with all of my shit. No one can have it.” Heather Chandler forgave her.

Kurt and Ram, on the other hand, couldn’t deny that it would have been a “great prank” if JD hadn’t lied about the type of ammunition. They were also more than a little disappointed to hear that they wouldn’t be able to go after JD. Then again, they were out of it from the high amount of pain killers the hospital had them on once they woke up from their coma when they were told. Veronica wasn’t totally sure if they remembered anything from that morning in the cemetery.

“I’mma kill him.”  
“Duuuudeeee, he’s already dead.”  
“Then I’ll go back in time and be the one to kill him.”  
“Shit, let me come with.”

Kurt and Ram forgave her.

Heather Duke was the least affected but the most resistant to forgiveness. She had been given the social power she had always wanted, only to have it be stripped away not too long later. To her, that was just as bad. Eventually, though, she got over it as well. Heather Chandler needed a spokesperson and Heather Duke had been her choice. The latter didn't know that the former offered the position to Heather McNamara first and was only offered because Heather McNamara denied it, but some things were better left a secret. Heather Duke forgave her.

Veronica wouldn’t ever believe that she deserved their mere presence after everything she had done, but they still kept gravitating towards each other until they all silently decided to just stick together. Near death experiences were definitely a way to knock some sense into even the toughest, most conceited person. Everyone even apologized to Martha for how they treated her. She became an honorary member to the Squad, as Ram liked to call it. They were all damaged, but they had someone who knew what they went through.

Veronica came back to the conversation to hear Martha talking adamantly about the history assignment she had been working on. She only caught the end of it, but she already knew what it was about. The two were best friends, after all. They told each other everything.

_Not everything._

“So Hamilton was all like “Burr, it’s your own fault you lost” and Burr replied “is not; fight me.” It’s still unsure who shot first, but I’m sure it was Burr. Anyway, I have copies of their letters. Did you want to see them?” Heather McNamara nodded excitedly and Ram made a grabbing motion towards Martha as she rifled through her bag for the papers.

It was nice to see that the eggshells everyone seemed to walk on for the first month or two were finally gone. If anyone who didn’t know the situation had seen what was going on, they would have assumed the seven were always friends. There were moments where the Heathers acted bitchier like before and where Ram and Kurt started to be dicks, but usually someone called them on it. Old habits die hard, but they were all in this together.

“Hamilton really sent a giant list of all their disagreements?” asked Kurt. He had been reading the papers over Ram’s shoulder, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder as he did so. Veronica smiled a little at seeing how the two acted with each other. It was no wonder everyone was so quick to accept the idea of them being gay.

The smile left at remembering why people accepted it in the first place.

Everyone started packing up when the bell to signify the end of lunch rang. Kurt and Ram raced to the trash can to see who could throw their trash away first while the Heathers gathered their containers to shove into their lunch boxes. Martha came back from throwing her own trash away, bringing the boys in tow. Kurt won this time, as told by the smug look on his face and the defeated look on Ram’s. “You cheated. We said hopping over lunch tables weren’t allowed!”  
“I agreed to no such thing! We said we couldn’t throw anything to someone to throw away.”  
“Yeah, right before we said we couldn’t hop over tables!”  
“You’re just mad that you lost.”  
“Fuck you!”  
“At least take me out to dinner, first.”

Martha and Veronica walked out of the cafeteria, leaving the Heathers to deal with the boys’ argument. They were quiet on the way to their lockers, but once they got them open, Martha decided to break the silence. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” She had the same worried look on from before. It made Veronica nauseous to know she put that there. “I know you said you were tired, but the crying… A-and you didn’t even eat lunch! I know it’s pretty gross, like Kurt said, but usually you get something from the vending machine if you forgot to bring your lunch. And if you forgot your money, you could have always asked one of us! Surely we could have all pitched in enough to-!”  
“Martha, breathe.” Veronica _had_ to cut her off, regardless of how bad she felt about interrupting. Martha always listened to Veronica’s ramblings to completion, so why couldn’t she? Nevertheless, Martha did as told without complaint. “I just forgot to grab it from my locker. It’s been a long day, and I couldn’t fall asleep last night.”  
“Why didn’t you call me? Or come over? You know that you’re always welcome at my place at any hour. My window is always unlocked.” Veronica flinched, turning away as she did so to keep Martha from seeing. No coming in through windows. Ever.

She busied herself with getting the required material for her next class. “My parents don’t really want me leaving at night. You know, after the... Incident.” It was Martha’s turn to look guilty, and damn if that didn’t make Veronica feel _even worse._ Martha deserved all the happiness in the world, and Veronica would give her own life without hesitation if it meant she could have it. Martha was the only beautiful person from start to finish. She was a fucking saint.

“Hey, how about I take these corn nuts and eat them on the way to class?” She pulled out the bag (barbecue flavor, of course!) to show her friend. “That way I still ate something. I can snack on the rest of my lunch in between classes, and maybe I can convince the Heathers to agree to pizza tonight. I’m sure the boys will agree that we’ve all had enough fruits and veggies.” Martha gave a skeptical look before smiling once Veronica opened the bag and stuffed a handful of her snack in her mouth.  
“Pepperoni and sausage?”  
“We’ll even get light sauce since they put way too much on.”

The two hugged and split ways upon hearing the one-minute warning bell. Veronica watched Martha as she left for her class, limping away as she walked. She turned back and waved before rounding the corner and Veronica grinned and waved back as she did so. Only then did she let her smile drop.

_Your fault she walks with a limp now._

_Your fault Heather can’t talk._

_Your fault Ram and Kurt were in a coma._

_All of this is your fault._

She shoved another handful of corn nuts in her mouth before throwing the bag back in her locker and closing it. Instead of heading straight to class, she made a stop by the bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty. It was easier to do what she needed to when nobody was around.

After all, she could stand to lose a few pounds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much???????? I didn't think this would get this many hits.

Martha sat in her seat just as the final bell rang. Normally she’d get a look from her teacher, but he was too busy giving that look to those who didn’t make it inside the classroom on time. One of those students happened to be Heather Duke, though she handed over a note before making her way to sit at the desk next to Martha. “Veronica saves me yet again,” she muttered quietly as she started extracting her materials from her bag.

At the beginning of the semester, Veronica gave everyone three excused tardy passes, one hall pass, and two absence notes. She said she wouldn’t be making any more until next year, as this was the last semester before summer. They had to make them last and keep from looking suspicious, both of which Martha was extremely good at. She hated being late to class, so she rarely used hers!

“How many of those do you even have left?” Surely Heather was almost out. She liked to take the time to make sure her hair was flawless. Martha would be lying if she said the extra time didn’t work, nor if it made her jealous.  
“That was my last one.”  
“It’s only April? We still have two months to go.”  
“Wow, thank you _so much_ for reminding me!”

Martha’s relationship with Heather Duke was the weakest of all. Heather wasn’t as mean before but she by far wasn’t the nicest. Even Heather Chandler, the “Mythic Bitch”, was nicer! Then again, Heather Duke hadn’t gone through what everybody else had.

“I can give you one of mine? We’ll have to white out my name, but it should still work.”  
“Thanks, nerd, but I don’t need your pity.” Martha frowned and sent a glare towards the ex-leader.  
“I wasn’t trying to pity you. It’s just that you’re friends with my friends and that despite how much of a spoiled bitch you are, I don’t hate you.” This whole incident really did a number for her confidence.  
“Whatever. Just focus on class. I’d like to actually learn today.”

Who knew Heather Duke actually liked Geography?

* * *

 

Fifth period was Sign. Everyone took it, and they all sat together. Ram and Kurt were more or less forced into taking the class by Heather Chandler, but the rest of the group decided to take it of their own volition. It was much easier to communicate with Heather if everyone knew the language, and Heather didn’t feel like learning and teaching everyone as she did so.

After Heather’s incident, the school created the class as a way to look good. They said they were doing it for the benefit of the students, but everyone knew who was really benefitting from it.

The seats weren’t assigned, so the group had the habit of changing it up daily. It just depended on who got to class first, because whoever was first would take the best seat. The best seat was the one closest to the door, obviously.

Today, Heather Duke had that seat, with Ram, Heather Chandler, and Martha finishing out the row. Veronica started the next with Kurt and then Heather McNamara, who had an empty seat next to her. They all fought over the best seat only once before they were threatened with assigned seats, all in opposite ends of the classroom.

Heather Chandler and Martha were practicing the most recent vocabulary on each other while Heather Duke and Ram were talking about things concerning the yearbook, though it was mainly just him trying to convince her to give him his own page.

Heather McNamara and Kurt were discussing their respective upcoming matches. With football season being over, Kurt had joined the track team and Heather the competitive cheer squad. They were mixing signing and talking.

All in all, everyone except for Veronica was keeping busy. She had her head down on the desk and was snoozing by this point. Martha kept glancing her way but otherwise kept to her own activity.

Two minutes after the final bell rang, after she finished what she was doing at her desk, the teacher took her spot in front of the class. “Alright everyone, we have a quiz today. Could someone please wake Veronica?” Heather Duke kicked Veronica’s chair and Kurt elbowed her in the arm. When neither worked, the teacher walked over and slapped her ruler on Veronica’s desk. That worked.

“Veronica, do you need to go to the nurse’s office to lay down? This is the third time you have fallen asleep today, as I was informed by your math and Chemistry teacher that you fell asleep there too.” Her words were harsh, but her tone was laced with concern and care.  
“No, Ms. Flemming, I’m sorry. I’ll stay awake.”  
“Get out a sheet of paper and get ready to take your quiz.”

The quiz went quickly and everyone was pretty confident in their answers. From there, they transitioned to the next lesson. Sign was the most laidback class compared to the rest everyone took. They could even talk to each other during the lesson so long as they signed their conversation. Just as quickly as the quiz went, so did the class. Soon enough, the bell rang and everyone parted ways to head off to their last class. That class went quickly as well. Next thing everyone knew, they were sitting in the bleachers of the gymnasium, waiting for Heather McNamara to finish cheer practice.

Heather Chandler and Ram were working on math homework together since they had it together, Martha was practicing first aid on Veronica for her Heath class, and Heather Duke and Kurt were watching the team as they practiced. Occasionally they would make comments on the routine the cheerleaders were working on.

“Thank you for letting me practice on you by the way!” Martha said as she finished bandaging Veronica’s arm. “My first aid test is coming up and I want to be sure to ace it, pun intended!”  
“As long as you don’t try to give me stitches, it’s fine.” Veronica gave a teasing smile. They all knew she would let Martha do anything she needed to.  
“Very funny. Besides, that’s next lesson!”

The two laughed, gaining a few questioning glances from the others. Martha resumed her work, putting Veronica’s arm in a sling this time. It was hard to believe that just a few months ago, she was Martha Dumptruck, one of the most unpopular kids in school. There were mornings where she woke up for the day, absolutely sure it had all been a dream. She was sure she would go to school all alone, as Veronica was an honorary Heather now.

She never wanted to return to that time. It was one thing to watch her friend become something they previously had vowed to never be, but it was another to be told that she pulled such a nasty prank. It tore her apart to know that the one person she thought she could trust with anything had used such a close kept secret against her. With Veronica gone, Martha just snapped. She couldn’t do it anymore. She was done.

The memory of a distressed Veronica at her doorstep just a week after their homecoming movie night resurfaces. Veronica looked like she hadn't slept since, and was such a big contrast to how put together she started to look once she started hanging out with the Heathers. Her whole frame was quaking with what was obviously suppressed sobs as she tripped over her tongue and repeated apologies over and over again in a broken, wobbly voice – _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot, I don't deserve you, you're so good, I'm so sorry, please, I'm so sorry_ – and Martha couldn’t help but forgive her. She was extremely reluctant to forgive her so quickly, but never once did Veronica try to make excuses for her actions despite how easy it would have been.

She couldn’t deny that the other still did wrong. She should have gone to the police, refused to write the suicide notes, or even left JD after the first time! She shouldn’t have tried to stay and change him. People like him can’t be changed.

But that wasn’t her friend. Despite Veronica’s insistence otherwise, Martha couldn’t believe that everything that had been done was all her own doing. She had seen how JD acted at school. Hell, she even figured out that it was JD all along! Some form of control _had_ to be going on. Veronica looked so scared when she told about Kurt and Ram, about how she didn’t know the bullets were real. She looked so distraught when she told about the cup switch up, how she should have been more careful or even dumped the cleaner out of the cup in the first place.

Martha couldn’t hate anybody more than JD in those moments. He was dead, but death was far too kind for someone like him.

The whole thing boosted her confidence, but it sure took a hit on the “everybody is good at heart” mentality she had.

By the time Veronica’s arm was successfully in a sling- it took a while to get the placement and tightness correct- the cheer squad was packing up their gear. The group sitting in the bleachers started doing the same so they could leave once everyone was ready. The cheerleaders had plenty of practice cleaning up, so it only took a few minutes.

Soon enough, everyone was piled into two separate cars: Heather Duke’s Jeep and Ram’s Ram truck. He claimed he owned it for the sake of irony. “It was meant to be!” He had defended, getting a few eye rolls in return. Heather McNamara and Martha both thought it was funny, though, so Ram kept up with the jokes.

For the most part, everyone stuck with the choice of driver. Heather Chandler and Martha were in Heather Duke’s jeep (Heather Chandler insisting on shotgun each time), whereas Heather McNamara, Veronica, and Kurt were in Ram’s truck (Kurt pulled the best friend card each time to get shotgun).

“Hey, let’s stop at 7/11 for snacks!” Kurt said, hitting Ram’s arm repeatedly until he was hit back. Ram rolled down his window after pushing Kurt away to yell about the stop they would make to the others only to be flipped off by Heather Chandler. He took it as a yes.

“7/11?” Veronica asked. Her voice hitched slightly at the initial request. “Why not Family Dollar? It’s cheaper. Or even the dollar store. Everything is a dollar there. Think of how much more you can get.”  
“I mean, sure, but 7/11 has Slurpees.” Kurt grinned as he buckled up. “And I _really_ want a Slurpee right now. They’re the best drink. They make everything better.”  
“Yeah, after Kurt _cheated_ ,” Ram glared over at Kurt, who muttered to watch the road, “I could go for a Slurpee.” Veronica hummed in response but sat back and said nothing else. Heather McNamara might have jumped in with her own comments if she wasn’t busy typing away on her phone to remind her parents that they were coming over.

It was only minutes before they pulled into the 7/11 parking lot and piled out. Kurt rushed in ahead of everybody, followed by Ram who was shouting after him that the former was paying for the latter’s drink. Everyone else followed and split up based off their wants. Heather Chandler went straight for the corn nuts, Heather McNamara went for some coffee, Heather Duke went for some fruit cups, Martha went for some bagged candy, and Veronica… She hung by the door for much longer than needed.

It had been a while since she was in this particular 7/11. She hadn’t planned on ever coming back, either. Just being there was making her feel wrong. It was almost as though everything was suddenly _too_ clear, but super cloudy at the same time? Her head felt… full. Not like it did after a long day of school, but like it was stuffed with cotton.

She wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but it had to pass eventually, right? Maybe her blood sugar was low… She should get something to drink. That was, if she could make her legs move.

Veronica headed towards the drink machine before making a sharp turn away from the Slurpee machine. Big Gulp it was. Damn, her hands needed to stop shaking if she was going to have any hope of not spilling her cup of Mountain Dew Code Red everywhere.

“Wow, Veronica,” she heard a voice from behind her. Turning around, she saw it was Kurt, grinning teasingly from ear to ear. Martha was next to him, sipping on her own Slurpee. “Slurpee is the signature dish of the house and yet you’re getting a Big Gulp? That’s like going to McDonald's to order a salad!”

Next thing she knew, Kurt and Martha were gone and JD had taken their place. Those were almost the exact same words he said that night. He was telling her about the benefits of drinking a Slurpee. He was telling her about his dad. He was telling her about his mom. He was telling her to freeze her brain. He was… He was…

She was brought back to reality by something cold splashing against her legs.

“Oh shit.”  
“What did you do?”  
“I was just teasing!”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Way to be a klutz.”  
“What happened?”

Everyone was talking at once and Veronica wasn’t sure what to do and it was too loud and too fast and she just wanted to leave and get out of that DAMN 7/11. “Guys, I’m fine. It just slipped out of my hand.” Her voice sounded so far away. Everything was muffled and sharp and foggy and too clear and she just wanted it to stop. Clean up your mess, get another drink, pay, and then leave, Veronica! Just put one foot in front of the other and you’ll be fine.

And she did just that. She tuned out the conversation going on around her and grabbed some napkins. She ignored the questions and cleaned up her mess. She avoided the looks and got a new drink. She pretended she didn’t see anyone who followed her as she went to pay for her drink. Giving an apology to the cashier for the mess, she left the building and sat on the curb.

As she sipped on her drink, the weird feeling started to lift. It was slow, but it was progress. Her thoughts were clearer and her world was duller. The sugar must have done its job, she concluded with a nod.

The rest of the group came out of the store with their own snacks in tow. Veronica vaguely noticed that they all appeared to be at different levels of comfortability, as well as the fact that they seemed to be giving her much more space than she needed. If she wasn’t so tired, her mind would probably start over thinking things.

“You ready?” Heather McNamara asked, though it seemed to be pointed more at Veronica than everyone. Nevertheless, everyone answered with nods and affirming words. “Alright, good. Let’s go watch that movie.”

Everyone climbed into their respective cars and it was only moments before they were on their way to Heather McNamara’s house. Veronica said nothing as the truck pulled away. She didn’t talk about what had just happened, nor did she mention that she was sure she saw JD watching them from the 7/11 as they left.

The night went on as normal. They watched what felt like hundreds of movies, one right after the other. They even got pizza! Heather McNamara had different, healthier snacks set out as well for the Heathers to munch on, but even Heather Chandler took a piece of cheesy heaven. They fell asleep in a big pile after calling their respective parents. Everything was just as normal.

If Martha hovered just a little bit closer to Veronica that night, no one said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and rewrote this chapter maybe five times because things were progressing way too fast. It's still not exactly right. Send help.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m going to blame all the writers here for this fic. I couldn’t find much of anything like what I plan to do with this and my immediate thought was “you’re going to make me write it myself, aren’t you?”
> 
> So here we are. I hope you enjoy my trash.
> 
> If anybody knows how to better format the diary/thoughts pair, please tell me.


End file.
